Croft Letter 7

Lt. Colonel Edward Croft of Company “H” Ryan Guards, 14TH South Carolina Volunteers, also known as McGowan’s Brigade Lt. Colonel Edward Croft

Camp Near Port Royal—January 26, 1863

My Own Darling One

I wrote you a letter yesterday, but receiving a very sad one from you last night. I write you an answer this evening. I have always begged you not to doubt my love, for I tell you that I intend to marry you. My Darling, first for Mr. Leonard, for my honor’s sake. You will be and shall be my wife. If I live to survive this war and none other—no matter who says to the contrary. And I beg you again not to think that my love has abated…my love increases for you as time rolls on.

Mary, how can I do without you as my darling wife. I cannot and shall not. Now please be happy and don’t again…my constancy. If you are not happy my dear, how can I be so? I cannot be and will not until you write me that you are satisfied and happy. I feel for your situations, but darling how can I help it. Hold on our a few months…and I hope all will be yet well. As to you going off, Mary, I don’t [know] what to say. And must ask a few days for reflection. I can’t bear this idea of your leaving my home—and rightfully as you say—I don’t know among whom eyou will be thrown—what kind of people—and again you will be throwing yourself in a dependent position—dependent upon the generosity and kindness of the a friend—a relation true—but not a blood relation. And besides you have aright to my father’s house. And it seems that he ought to know this. And again Florida and yourself are single girls unprotected. And it seems to me I would not be as well satisfied as when you are at my house.

Father’s ways are strange and inconsistent, I know–but this is the way he treats everybody and I know Mother is about healing your feelings in any way. They have never said a word to me disrespectful of you—nor mislead in any other way. They know at least that if I live, I am going to marry you. Neither have they even attempted to dissuade me from anything of the kind. She herself married my Father against the will of his father and I think her delicate feelings would rather sympathize with you. But be as it may—when I am in a permanent position which if I live, I hope to be in a short time—believing the war will soon stop—I intend to marry you upon my return and nobody shall prevent me. I would rather be dead than to treat you other than with the most honorable way. But I am going to marry you, Darling, for love and nothing else. More on this subject in a day or two.

Yours devotedly and entirely… Edward.

 

Read the Croft Letters: Aug.6, 1861 ~ Aug. 18, 1861 ~ Aug. 21, 1861 ~ June 29, 1862 ~ March 23, 1862 ~ Nov. 10, 1862 ~ Jan. 26, 1863 ~ March 4, 1863