Lt. Colonel Edward Croft of Company “H” Ryan Guards, 14TH South Carolina Volunteers, also known as McGowan’s Brigade
“Ambitious as I am to make a name for myself—you must know that my feelings at times must be gloomy and desponding, especially when I am working on my own hook, with very little or no aid from any source whatever. And under these circumstances which you did not, but should have taken into consideration, I was mortified upon the reception of your very stately letter….” Lt. Colonel Edward Croft
| Camp Butler—Near Pole Cat, South Carolina August 18th, 1861 My Own Dear One– I was truly happy, my own dear Mary on the receipt of your letter to learn that you, as well all the rest were quite well. But I was somewhat moritifed and disappointed, my dearest one. I received rather a stately letter from one who I thought knew me, and one who has had my heart ever since she was a little girl. And more especially (since she knew or ought to have known) my peculiar situation—without a friend—without money. You must feel that I must have been subject to great distress and anxiety at times about my Company. Ambitious as I am to make a name for myself—you must know that my feelings at times must be gloomy and desponding, especially when I am working on my own hook, with very little or no aid from any source whatever. And under these circumstances which you did not, but should have taken into consideration, I was mortified upon the reception of your very stately letter. I thought, instead, I would receive a letter of encouragement and sympathy, and love. But dear, it must be your love for me blinds you to these things. I must believe it, for love is a jealous thing, and it pleases me to think so. I am going to tell you secret—which you must not tell. I have told no one of my family, save yourself. They (my friends) think of running me for Major of the Regiment and I hope, dear, to meet you as Major, instead of Captain. Don’t speak of it as I may be defeated. We are now encamped at Camp Butler as you will see from the heading of my letter. It has rained and continues to rain, all the while. I am not yet comfortably fixed, but hope to be so shortly. Tell Ma I want some flannel shirts and if she will, but some flannel and make me up shirts. I will pay her for them, and thank her, to boot. I would like them made of dove color, brown & c. Your dear Rebel. The colors for men and I will be satisfied. My friend, Mr. Van de Horst has been very kind to me indeed. Kinder than any one else and now my own dear, darling, Mary, good night. My tent is crowded with talking men. Be happy and if I have offended you, forgive me. You don’t know, my own dearest, Mary how I long to press you to my bosom. Now and always, your loving, fond and devoted, Edward. |
Read the Croft Letters: Aug.6, 1861 ~ Aug. 18, 1861 ~ Aug. 21, 1861 ~ June 29, 1862 ~ March 23, 1862 ~ Nov. 10, 1862 ~ Jan. 26, 1863 ~ March 4, 1863